grayce counseling

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a short term treatment approach for couples that focuses on reconnection between partners. EFT was developed by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg and is based on John Bowlby’s Attachment research that was published over 50 years ago. Attachment theory is based on the innate need that humans and higher primate animals appear to have to feel attached to and comforted by significant others.  Adult attachment relationships are believed to have the same survival function as the mother-child bond, since ideally these attachments can provide the same love, comfort, support and protection throughout the life span. However, due to our relationship histories, and the negative interaction cycles we get into with our partners, many of us have difficulties with trust and expressing emotion to those who mean the most to us. When utilizing EFT, we help you build “a safe haven” in your relationship as our primary task, as the foundation of the work to focus on your primary needs – to feel close, secure and responded to –which probably underlie most of your couple’s conflict. Once this safe haven and feelings of connection are reestablished, you will be better able to manage conflict and the painful or difficult feelings that will inevitably arise from time to time in a close relationship. Furthermore, without so much defensiveness, each of you will be able to send clearer messages and will be better able to hear the other’s perspective. You will be better able to collaborate, problem solve and compromise – in short – you will be more of a team – which is the secret of a long-lived, successful marriage.